Former Flight Attendant: An American Airlines Pilot Raped me When I was a Teenager

Another victim of sexual assault at the airline courageously shares her story

I’m going to start with a very clear trigger warning and content advisory. If you had not intended to spend the beginning of this week reading about and bearing witness to a violent assault, please read no further.

If you are feeling vulnerable or are in crisis, in the U.S. you can contact RAINN for 24/7 confidential support. Outside the U.S., a quick internet search should get you to the right place.

If you were aged 18 or over when you were assaulted in or around the New York area or your assailant or place of business had any connection to the state of New York, please know that due to a temporary repeal of the statute of limitations, you can call a lawyer to confidentially discuss legal recourse for your trauma.

I have no personal connection to this one, but I was honored she took the time to speak with me for The Landing; she is fierce, empathetic, excellent at her job and might be a good place to start.

There are many brave victims who have shared their own experiences and communicated with me in the past few months, and new readers can find many of their stories in the comment sections here and on my Medium page.

Due to various reasons, including timing issues, this is the first stand-alone story of assault I’ve posted on The Landing.

There can be more. There probably will be more. I’m always here for questions and concerns and requests.

Her story begins below this line. Some details have been slightly altered to further protect her identity.

A Predator Strikes Again

Last night, after dinner, I sat at my desk and I made a phone call. I listened as a woman bravely described the grooming, traumatic assault and horrendous aftermath of being raped while on the job as a flight attendant.

With every stark detail she revealed, I heard her voice crack. I felt very much as if she was vividly brought back to that day, to those terrifying moments, while she was sharing her story. She is strong, and she is still in pain, as anyone would be.

There is much more I could have asked her. There is much more she could have said. This, I think, is the beginning of her story, and I think there will be more to come for all of you, considering how many victims there are—victims, that is, of a whole bunch of predators who worked or do work in the airline industry.

I have contacted American Airlines for comment for a third time since this series began, but there continues to be no response. 

This woman, now a mom and a wife, told me she suspected, maybe deep down knew, there were other victims. But until recently—when someone forwarded her the articles and she read all the comments beneath them—she hadn’t realized the extent of this predator’s reach.

I don’t know how any of us could have known quite how bad it was.

This woman who reached out to me most recently was a teenager when the man attacked her. He was a 34-year-old First Officer. Incidentally, he told her some of the various lies he spread around over the years, this time saying he went to Yale, though this next part was a new one for me: apparently he “worked as a bartender to put himself through” the incredibly expensive Ivy League college. Last I heard he had a scholarship to study medicine at Yale. The truth is he attended the University of Rhode Island and didn’t graduate.

Now, her story, in her own words:

“He was totally normal at first. I was on flights with him a LOT. He knew I was a teenager. He knew that. I found I was flying with him a lot. There were other pilots I wanted to fly with, but I ended up with him.

After, he would often say, ‘I’ll drive you home.’ I didn’t have a car. I thought he was just a nice guy. Just another guy. He drove other flight attendants home, too; I thought he was a nice, older guy.

One day in the spring of 2001, there was a long flight delay, and the crew went to a nearby airport hotel. Crew would stay there if there were delays to rest, get something to eat, that kind of thing.

I’m in my room, and then there’s someone knocking at the door, and it’s him. He says, ‘Can I come in and have a chat? I’m feeling lonely. I want somebody to talk to.’

He had a bottle of alcohol.

‘What’s that?’ I asked.

‘I thought we could share this.’

‘But you’re flying,’ I said.

He replied, ‘It’s not so much for me. It’s for you.’

I knew at that point in my gut. I knew at that point exactly what was going down.

I kind of felt obligated because he had driven me home and he had been so nice. He comes into the room and sits down at the table and he’s telling me, ‘I went to Yale, went to this Ivy League American college. I had to put myself through school as a bartender.’

I felt obligated. I had whatever the concoction he made was. I drank it; it was like spirits or something. It was vile, it was disgusting.

And then I blacked out and I don’t remember what happened next, and next thing I know he’s on top of me on the bed.

And I’m saying, ‘I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!’

He kept saying, ‘It’s OK it’s OK. Don’t worry, it’s OK.’

He’s just lying on top of me, crushing me. I can’t breathe. He’s saying, ‘It’s fine. It’s fine.’

So I thought to myself, I’m just going to lie here, I’m not going to scream. If I scream he’s going to put his hand over my mouth and I’m really going to suffocate.

And then he assaulted me and then he ran out of the room. I was just like, OK, I’ll take it step by step: I just have to get up and get home. And then I taxied back to my place and a friend was there and was like, what’s wrong?

I said, ‘I was just fucking raped by this fucking guy.’

She called the cops and they came and they were really unhelpful. They kept saying ‘Were you injured by sex?’ I said, ‘No, I was fucking raped!’ Of course I was injured! I was fucking raped. And they said, ‘you know what happened?’

I told them it’s the pilot. As soon as I said that they weren’t interested. Didn’t want to know. It was like, ‘Oh he works for American, he’s a pilot.’ They didn’t want to know.

They said, ‘do you want to go to the hospital?’ I said, ‘Will you take me to casualty?’ they said, ‘What’s casualty?’

They figured out it was the emergency room. I thought I’d have to pay a whole lot of money, pay thousands of dollars I can’t afford. They gave me a breathalyzer. They said, ‘you’re almost blowing 0.08 0.09.’

I thought I’d get in trouble, I’d lose my job. I did not file a report. I did not go to the police station.

I thought it was kind of this man to drive me home. He asked a lot of questions about who I knew at American, all about my family, trying to figure out if we were influential or wealthy. I know now he was figuring out if he was going to get away with it. He was so manipulative. This is someone who’s telling me he’s lonely. I can’t turn him away.

He was stalking me for months. The airline industry seems so glamorous but it’s not. the power imbalance between pilots and flight attendants gives rise to sexual assault and sexual abuse.”